Liminal
by Pursuitofnovelty
Summary: short piece after finale
1. Chapter 1

Alexis was from season 2 Famous last words. This is after finale. I don't own Castle

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Alexis voice seemed far away on an endless loop, "she doesn't mean death, death… metaphorical, symbolic, sexual… " it was fragmented, he can't even remember the conversation they were having, it seemed forever ago. Death , metaphorical… her voice seemed to chant he tried to focus on her, reach her but she wasn't even there. He wasn't sure where he was, besides the floating space between sleep and waking. With a memory that wasn't going to leave him alone.

Before he lost consciousness He had felt the slice into his scalp and the blood drip and run down his face. His face and hair were his calling card as ruggedly handsome author. He could get away with his nerdy and asshole moments because of his face, his money and fame too but back in high school it was face.

He remembered when things changed. Between height and looks suddenly girls stopped ignoring him but they still rolled their eyes at what came out of his mouth. Still do sometimes, including Kate who loved him despite her efforts. His efforts?

Would she feel the same? If he was no longer handsome?

He woke up because he felt a kiss on his forehead and a whispered "I'm here Babe" He opened his eyes to see a blurry figure.

"Why would I want to kiss you? "

Not the voice he expected . He squinted, Espo and behind him Ryan.

"Beckett was dragged to lunch by your mother and her dad. We didn't kiss you." Ryan looked way to happy somehow

Castle reached up to his forehead and found a bandage. "You'll survive even if you look like a klingon. " Espo again, enjoying the upper hand.

"You're in the hospital. Do you remember the accident?" Castle gave them an anxious look whether it was a reminder of accident or the comment about looking like klingon wasn't sure. He was kind of slow on the uptake.


	2. Chapter 2

A tall man stands on the edge of the coast and watches the water come in then go out. A tall, mysterious man, he smirks a bit, old habits die hard. Trying to make himself cooler and more mysterious than he is. He didn't feel tall or strong or in the least hero like. He had needed to get away. His mom actually fussed over him, Alexis was teary sometimes when he let a joke go by or didn't respond the way he should and Beckett might be keeping track of what he drank. Everyone would be relieved if he just picked up where he left off, but he wasn't that man anymore. The first time he saw Beckett she told him almost exactly what he told her at the ER, she had not thought she would see him again. He lasted a little longer before he said he was tired and needed space.

Castle stared at the water off the Hampton's. His favorite place ever, contemplating the horizon over the ocean. He just couldn't alleviate people's nerves though, his family didn't really want him to come out here by himself. Alexis was probably most concerned. Beckett had said little girls want their Daddies to stay right where they left them. He could tell that had sounded sadder then she wanted. The boys just thought he was worried that his part didn't fall right anymore. That his ruggedly handsome image had been messed with, even Beckett had fished a little off that pier, watching his reaction when she told him he was still ruggedly handsome; accent on the rugged.

Who would have thought that a former classmate would do more to him than mobsters, terrorists and drug lords. It was Beckett's nightmare that he would disappear into a bottle like her father. Did she really need him though? One by one she had taken care of the monsters under her bed all by herself and Alexis was learning how too. He was feeling like there was a little monster in himself that nobody could know about. His captor had drugged him to keep control of him and Beckett kept reminding him that he had no tolerance for drugs. He told Beckett what he remembered, that his dad came out of nowhere to free him but the evidence had him pounding his captor in a rage. Did he have that much anger in him? Would his father rescue him then have no problem throwing him under a bus?

The fact that he was suddenly scared of crowds, even fans, had very little to do with his looks. He was aware of their fears and phobias and dark sides that he was so skilled in talking to; throwing a light on them, being obsessed with them. Seen it in himself when his family was involved. And it wasn't a big surprise. Now something woke up and spoke to him. He heard a roaring in his ears that almost drowned out others talking, he let jokes go by and became quieter. Somehow even at the same time his family was a little worried, his cop buddies had fewer reservations. Espo had once or twice treated him with the care he'd shown Beckett after her shooting. That scared him and that got him out here.


End file.
